A Quick Food Related Update

Last week was my first week back to intermittent fasting since… Honestly I can’t remember how long it’s been. Of the seven days I think I was successful 4. I’ll take it! The only reason I wasn’t successful the other nights is because of drinks after dinner. I waiting until at least 11:30 to break the fast each day, but with drinks until 9 some nights I still wasn’t getting the full 16 hour fast. It’s all good. I’m getting there.

While bringing back intermittent fasting I also got back to counting calories. I did better on that front. Only going over my count twice! Whoohoo! It felt good to be taking control of something again. After just letting myself over eat and over drink for so long.

Even during quarantine I was meal planning for dinners, but I wasn’t accounting for lunches because “I was home so I can just eat leftovers”. This was great because we weren’t wasting food, but I was eating breakfast, heavy lunches from leftover dinners, then heavy dinners. It wasn’t doing me any good. So when I was working on my meal plan and grocery list I thought about this, and made some better decisions.

Dinners will still be on the heavy side because I like to have a big dinners, but I’m going to be smarter about my lunches. We’re going to grill some extra chicken tomorrow for lunches, and I chopped what feels like a million vegetables this morning. So while I don’t have my standard lunch meal prep these days, I’m at least making steps to get myself back on track. Feeling pretty good today outside of the world imploding.

Oh yeah, I even did home workouts including a 15 minute indoor row 3 days last week! It should’ve been more, but this is just the beginning.

All this to say, hang in there friends! Most of us are struggling right now one way or another, but there’s still time to turn things around. When you’re ready. 🙂

Weight Struggles

I struggle basically all the time with self image and weight control. Not weight loss. That I’ve proven time and time again I can do. Weight control feels unattainable. I get to a point where I’m pretty happy with my weight. Then I just stop paying as close attention to what I’m shoveling into my gaping maw. I slowly watch the weight climb back up telling myself “it’s only 5 pounds, I can knock that off easy.” until I get to the day where I’m saying “fuck! 40 pounds!?? How did I let this happen?” Which is where we are right now.

I want to tell myself that this time is finally it. I’m finally done with yoyo dieting and fluctuating weight. I want to tell myself I’ll go to the gym every week forever and ever until it’s just part of the routine, but I know I won’t. I know I’m not that person. People keep telling me “one day at the gym is better than no days”, and while that logically makes sense one day at the gym doesn’t fix what I’ve done to myself over the last several months. One day at the gym doesn’t keep me from over eating.

There used to be a time when I would wake up and do yoga every morning before work. That time was before I got pregnant, before I had my kid, before I had so many excuses not to get up early. Now, I do okay with gym/workout routines for a few weeks or months, but as soon as something messes with that routine (holidays, special events, sickness, anything that throws it off course) I don’t bounce back. I just let the routine fall away until I get here again.

Here, 40 pounds heavier. Afraid to get on the scale. Afraid to look in the mirror naked. Afraid I’ll be fighting this, myself, weight forever.

New Job Who Dis?

After my last post I updated my resume, and started my job hunt in earnest. It, thankfully, didn’t take too long for me to land something, and I started my new job at the beginning of September! So far, it’s been more fulfilling than the last job, and that’s exactly what I was hoping for. I switched from a worldwide organization to a small local office, and the atmosphere is just so much better. I couldn’t be happier with this decision. My job is different enough to feel new, but the same enough that I feel like I’m capable enough only three weeks in. Feels good.

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